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The New Pre-Raphaelite Movement is essentially an ideology that promotes creativity, non-conformity and a particular attitude towards art. Particular hallmarks define the fashion associated with this movement but promotion of the values of the Movement is the prime motivation of those involved and that's why we will protect and uphold these even if it means we have to use legal measures to ensure these values are not diluted or adulterated but self serving businesses and individuals who are not supportive of these ethics and are using them as a means to make money; not a means to further the principles the New Pre-Raphaelite Movement stands for and promotes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anna Louise May

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Blog Archive June 2012

 

30th June 2012: Having a great weekend so far...finished the Robin Hobb Soldier Son trilogy and am back on the Rain Wild Chronicles to find out what the latest on Tintaglia and the other dragons and their keepers is.  Weird how when you get really into a book you can pick up the next instalment months after you read the previous in the series and be 'right back there'.  I expect that's the sign of a gr8 writer!  I want to read the Eye of the World series at some stage but I have been putting that off for years because I know if I get into it, I'll end up reading all of them and there are loads...years and years on the same series!  I wouldn't read any other novels while I was reading it so I have to be sure I want EOTW to dominate my reading life when I dare to pick up the first book! :D  I do love reading...I stopped watching television 11 years ago and I have read voraciously ever since...magick books, fantasy novels, scripture, new age books, philosophy books, history books...a day doesn't go by when I don't spend at least a couple of hours reading.  I definitely recommend it as an alternative to television!

 

29th June 2012: I am reliably informed that so far June has been the 2nd wettest June since records began...bleugh!!! That is just no good at all for photo shoots...it's frustrating as anything.  I can only hope there will be a long dry autumn and I will be able to do more work then as I have so many plans.  I got some amazing clothes from Alina Ionescu and some other gorgeous creations and accessories from Jojo at Wildskin and I've got some gorgeous corded lace coming from Ophelia's Folly too...all are for particular shoots me and Maniac have lined up but some of them are dependant on the weather.  Maniac's due to come over to do a shoot at mine this weekend and I'll be showcasing Alina's 'fashion as art' creations...but I must say, it's disappointing not to be able to do them outside because the locations we had planned...well...no one has to set them up so it's kind of more convenient...except if it's wet...damp is no friend to the pointe shoe...it would just be too dangerous...but it's still disappointing.  We'll see what happens.  You never know.  Perhaps we'll come up with a location that will work even if we just get one dry day.

 

Other than that I have been studying and reading and writing mostly.  Unusually it's a quiet weekend for magickal work - just the Killing Moon to fit in so it's an ideal time for a shoot.  I suppose I'll give Maniac a call and ask about locations...and check weather.com and see what the prognosis is :D X

 

27th June 2012: I have been pretty busy the last couple of days trying not to get too hot!  Argh...the weather's been intolerably humid here.  I wilt in this kind of weather...it is no friend of the corset toting pointe dancer that's for sure.  No friend of anyone who wants to eat.  No friend of anyone who wants to sleep.  No friend of anyone who wants to get dressed.  I don't think anyone can honestly say they enjoy the humid days of the British summer!

 

Planning a shoot with Maniac this weekend...it is supposed to rain tomorrow so likely to be indoor but a chance to get creative with the set is always fun :D  And I've been talking to Wolfie about some ideas for creative projects later in the year too.  Much to look forward to.

 

And also some great new courses for Mayastar in the pipeline too.  The Star of Avalon Ascension Connections that follow on from the attunements of the Avalonian Alignment Programme have proven very popular and very powerful even for those who have not worked with AAP or Avalonian energies at all previously.  So I am extremely pleased with how these wonderful attunements are manifesting for people.  It's wonderful to work with such wonderful people!  A big MWAH! to all Mayastar students! XX <3

 

25th June 2012: I've just updated the New Pre-Raphaelite and Romantiqua Couture articles...and tweaked any sites that needed tweaking.  All attunements for the evening have been sent and I'm about to email people to confirm they're all set.

 

And I think I shall take a break for a bubble bath, some yum yums and spot of Shakespeare before I get on with some writing and complete the Killing Moon spell for today.  And...relax....XX <3

 

25th June 2012: Have just finished my accounts for the year.  Lazy....I usually do them as soon as the year ends but I had a particularly busy month in March.  And so far this year has seen the Killing Moon added to Maya Magickal as well as the addition of the Star of Avalon Ascension Connections attunement course to Mayastar Academy.

 

Among my creative and dance work and personal spiritual development work, this year I have also taken steps to streamline the administration side of Mayastar so that more time is available for attunements and magickal work without waiting times and so on.  And in addition I am working on a series of Crystal Grid Activations which will be available later in the summer so of course I'll keep everyone up to date; if you don't receive the Mayastar and Maya Magickal newsletter and would like to, please email me to request your copy X

 

24th June 2012: It's intolerable...I reckon I had about 2 hours sleep because upstairs are doing DIY...argh.  Thank goodness I don't have any ritual work tonight...just the Killing Moon Spell...so it doesn't matter when I get up but still...people should have more consideration for bohemians who sleep all day!

 

I suppose I shall have to lie in bed and read for a while...no sense trying to sleep through the blitz.  May text Maniac and sort out an indoor shoot...I have so many ideas that I want to test more than anything but if I wait for the weather I could be waiting a long time...still...building the set is kind of fun...and because it's at mine I can change clothes easily and as often as I want so I can try some of the combinations I've been considering and see how it looks...but there are a couple of things I need for the set...I'd better enlist my entourage to get right on it...erm...that means, I'd better ask Daniel, Dad, Marky Mark, Spike and Jet to find me some old stuff to use! He he.  I'll come up with something

 

 

24th June 2012...later: I have too much time on my hands this weekend I think...I hadn't scheduled much magickal work or attunements in case the shoot went ahead...I have watched more TV (well...DVDs because I haven't watched TV for...hmmm...a decade I guess)...I recommend The Merry Wives of Windsor and the Merchant of Venice, the ballet Manon and Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle and...if you've never seen it, it's a classic, Heathers (black comedy from the 80s starring Winona Ryder). 

 

And read more than I've had time to read for...goodness knows how long...mostly Principia Discordia, Robin Hobb's Shaman's Crossing (or whatever book 3 of the Soldier's Son Trilogy is called...the miracle of Kindle is that you can get hooked on a book and forget the title because you never see the cover!), The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Kempis and some poetry by Edgar Allan Poe...speaking of...I think I may read one of his books before I go to sleep this morning...I love love love Poe. 

 

Yes...it's decided...put on some Nox Arcana, have a hot chocolate and read some Poe.  Hmmm...or put on some Fields of the Nephilim...

 

And I'll decorate this entry with some pix from my mobile...check out the wig...even I think it looks real...and wearing the Shrine dress I got from Amaryllis...it's gorgeous! (Excuse the dance clothes I'm wearing under it though - I'd just come back from ballet!) X

 

Happy days XXX

 

24th June 2012: Had a very intense dream today...full of significant symbols for anyone who has immersed themselves in Jungian analysis and the study of symbolism and mythology...it was a strange one and one I spent the evening digesting...

 

After sending attunements, having a quick natter with Remy about the dream and...general gossip...I did the working for the Killing Moon early and updated peoples' portfolio albums on  New Pre-Raph site on FB and responded to my emails for the day...and now I feel I've got a handle on the dream as I've had time to write it up in my journal and consider it point by point. 

 

I receive many emails from people asking me to decipher their dreams and visions and I have to explain that this is something I can't do. Although symbols are universal, they form a language that can only be interpreted subjectively; there is no objective meaning someone can give a dream - only the dreamer can understand a dream as symbols relate to their own beliefs and experiences. 

 

For example, I don't like spiders but a witch friend of mine loves them - if we dream of spiders they mean two different things to us and our interpretation of the same dream would be very different because the symbol would have to be understood subjectively.  In the same way, if I dream of a magpie, to me it would be a fortuitous symbol and associated for me with the Norse Goddess of the Underworld, Hella; but my dad can't stand magpies - for him it would be a symbol of a scavenger that eats other birds' eggs!  So if you have dreams or visions you consider important and want to understand more, first of all, write them down.  Second of all, meditate on them after you have them.  Third of all, read about symbolism...'Man & His Symbols' by C G Jung is an excellent place to start!

 

In my dream, I was the captain of a ship and was in the Royal Navy.  In the running of my ship, a young boy who was like a 'runner' that delivered messages, brought two cannonballs to me (they were very small now I come to think of it - he carried them both with one in each hand and so did I...so, though they were 'cannonballs', they were more like black tennis balls...I didn't really consider that in the dream but it is likely significant) - he seemed flustered by this as he believed we were under attack. 

 

However, I knew we were not at war so I was not overly concerned by this. Only that I wasn't aware how long they'd been there or if the ship had sustained any damage.   And so I reported to my 'superior' (who wasn't on my ship but somehow I met with him face to face??) that they had been found. 

 

All exchanges in the dream were very military and delivered in an unemotional way.  My superior advised me to ignore the cannonballs as we were not at war and if someone was attacking it didn't affect or concern us and we'd deal with them in our own good time if we needed to but for now they were to be discounted. 

 

Then he handed me a tin and on the tin (which were issued to all of us) he had a different motto printed than the usual ship's issue ones.  The motto was written in latin and on mine and everyone elses' tins it said something like "Never stop fighting for what is right and good and never give up".  His tin said "Never stop fighting for what is right and good and never give up and always remember that Tottenham FC are not important".  I asked him if we could swap tins and he gave me his tin.  This was very significant in the dream as he was very high up in the hierarchy - his dispassionate demeanour reminded me of angelic forms when they manifest in dreams and visions.

 

As I woke up I was concerned that I couldn't remember the Latin and couldn't understand it in the dream...also that I hadn't fully understood his message.  But as I reflected on the dream I realised, I didn't remember the Latin but I did remember the message.  I also knew exactly what he was telling me. 

 

Well, Tottenham FC are not important to me...to him they had some significance that made him write that on his tin.  I wondered in the dream if he had that written as a reminder that he was engaged in things more important than worldly concerns and pretend battles like competitive sports; or whether the reminder was that he was engaged in things that transcended 'the game' of social politics.  This resonated with me because my Aspergers means I see other people 'acting out' based on external social cues and traditions as playing a game; one that I'm not interested in playing because I don't have the need for external validation that others may have. 

 

So for myself, other non-conformists and other high functioning autistes, observation of social conventions and a need for acceptance from others often appear to be part of a game that seems absurd and 'beneath us' in some way - it doesn't concern us and stays off our radar generally.  Many Aspers have a reputation for being cold or uncaring - or even lacking empathy.  I think this is a misunderstanding; we tend not to be involved in 'office politics' or small talk and so we can seem reserved or shy or aloof depending on our general demeanour - but that is as judged by people who do enjoy small talk and office politics and judge that we 'should' and therefore read our differences in terms of their own understanding. 

 

I can reassure readers that Aspers and non-conformists definitely don't lack empathy! But neither are we interested in games, dishonesty or jumping through hoops to 'fit in' and be deemed acceptable...we already accept ourselves so why should we care what anyone else thinks!?? LOL

 

So the dream seemed to suggest that the powers that be were reminding me that 'we' don't play the game; that 'we' have a different agenda from people that do and that we should rise above worldliness in pursuit of a higher calling.  That if someone wanted to act as if they were at war, it was part of them playing a game of worldiness and it was meaningless, absurd and a waste of their time - don't let it waste ours by retaliating or paying attention to it.  Sort of suggesting to turn the other cheek and discount antagonism was an act of defiance; that in the face of adversity we should always 'keep our eyes on the road ahead' and not allow our MO to be swayed by others. 

 

This idea naturally resonates with me and is perhaps more a reflection of my fundamental nature than any revelation for me.  But what started out as a seemingly confusing dream turned out to be a kind of pep talk from my subconscious and  very inspirational.   

 

If you are not interested in psychoanalysis or depth psychology you probably don't give much thought to dreams but I do feel they can provide valuable insight and guidance. 

 

For anyone on a self development path - whether artistic, magickal, spiritual or meditative...whatever means of self improvement you subscribe to, if you are consciously engaged in the process of self-realisation by any means, paying attention to what is going on at a subconscious level can be an excellent way to find guidance.  Keeping a journal...especially a dream journal...is invaluable. 

 

Sometimes our dreams are just the conscious mind doing the filing and tidying up for the day; but sometimes we can catch a glimpse of what's going on at a deep level and messages passing between the conscious, subconscious...perhaps even the super conscious...mind.

 

Later cupcakes! XXXX Mwah!

 

(Pix in this entry of some of the clothes I am getting from Alina soon - for more check out my updated album on http://www.facebook.com/pages/Anna-Louise-May/386778214690567  The photoshoot with Maniac was called off for the weekend as the weather was too bad - kind of expected it...but the delay is welcome in a couple of ways:

 

1. I'll have some gr8 designs to model - real 'fashion as art'

2. I can spend more nights reading...because I hate sewing elastics and ribbons on pointe shoes and now I have 3 pairs waiting...and a pair of flats waiting for their elastics to be sewn too...fiddly work!)

 

Argh...I am toooooo lazy!

 

22nd June 2012: :: ALL ABOUT UNIVERSAL LAW & MAGICK :: Those of you following my blog will know I'm enjoying Robin Hobb's Soldier's Son Trilogy...I'm on the final book now.  I am a big Robin Hobb fan and these ones took me longer to get into but they are the most thought provoking and I highly recommend them. 

 

One particular passage I discussed with a friend as it's a bit of a philosophical one...in the story, Solder's Son, the Shaman desecrates an offering by accidentally bringing back a bird sacrificed to the God of Death back to life.  He doesn't realise there was anything serious in this until he began to have visions and dreams of the God demanding a death of him.  The God appears in the form of a carrion bird...which immediately intrigues me as my own God, Odin, is a psychopompic figure associated with wolves and carrion birds; a God of Death, poetry, madness, initiation, ecstasy, The Wild Hunt...so whenever psychopompic figures turn up in dreams or stories, I pay special notice to the parallels.

 

On this occasion, the God appears to him in the form of a bird and tell him he owes him a life or a death; whatever he (Soldier's Son) deems most appropriate to redress the balance having offended a God of Death. 

 

The shaman addressed says, "I dont serve you. You are not my god. And I owe you nothing."  The god responds, "An amusing concept, that. The idea that men can choose which gods have power over them. Do you think that if u choose not to believe in me, I can have no power over you? Do you think you can choose to have debts or not to have them?"

 

Now this is a fascinating question to me. If you apply it to a human of perceived power like a Prime Minister, for example.  Essentially, he is just a man that lives and dies and has no actual value over any other human life on the planet.  The only power and authority afforded him is that which is agreed upon by others - but he can't fly or see through walls; he's just a person.   And so, any power over another person exists only if that person accepts it...or does it?

 

If I believe the Prime Minister has no power over me because I acknowledge no worldly authority, does he have power over me or not?  Perhaps not over my mind, but in many ways, yes he does as a worldly hierarchy exists even for those who don't acknowledge it. 

 

Most of this 'assumed power' is not exercised lest the people revolt!  But if the Prime Minister decided to (say) start a law to ban the practice of witchcraft (it was only legalised in the 50s) could I be judged and hanged even if I said I do not acknowledge his authority or believe hii rules are right?  Yes.  I would still be subject to them. 

 

I could choose to break them by practising magick anyway (as many did before the act was repealed) but I couldn't prevent performing his own kind of black magick (if it were done by other than normal means, it would be black magick to kill someone...and I tend to see the world in terms of the balance of Karma; those indebted by action, thought, word...they pay a price Karmically; and Karma is Universal Law: Implacable and indiscriminate.  It doesn't take excuses!).

 

So, as a Priestess dedicated through initiation to Odin, if another person crosses me, do they cross him by default and incur a Karmic debt that exceeds whatever they may have done that was wrong; ie - wronging Odin as well as myself?  Whether they say they do or do not believe in him? It seems to me logical that they would but in the same way as a the worldly analogy described, perhaps it is not a power exercised by a God consciously; they would have no need to as having a God's eye view of things, they would know these things come out in the wash eventually and one way or the other, the Universe strives for balance and will always 'square things flat' one way or another in time...and time for a eternal beings would be something they viewed very differently to us.

 

My own magickal workings and writing follow this principle; working always with the currents already in force and redressing the balance to clear the slate and allow debts and debtors to sort their 'stuff' out now rather than have it drag out and fester which can take a long time to find the same resolution. 

 

Magick changes probabilities of a particular Karmic path being opened.  So with a Killing Moon spell for example, if someone crosses you, you hurt yourself, you have negative beliefs or bad experiences in the past; if Karmic debts exist (and they always do), the Killing Moon cuts them off at source - returns them to sender or dissolves them depending on whether they are relevant, past or active. 

 

The spell is not aimed at others; it works on an individual's Karma to redress the balance for them.  But because it does it by breaking any bonds that exist due to a Karmic deficit someone else may have consciously of unconsciously created, it works (for the good of all) to resolve that debt once and for all.  In other words, it is designed to work in accordance with the natural order of things but just speed them up so you don't have to deal with the same old problems and face offs and issues with people who are connected to you energetically through a debt.

 

Debt connections like that can be extremely draining; if the other person is negative, ignorant, spiteful, a liar or dominated by any other kind of low vibrational lifestyle (negative self talk, negative beliefs, illness and so on), the link means these affect you too - albeit indirectly, over time a number of negative links may be formed connecting us to people, places, things, habits, beliefs and so on, that end up having a very compromising effect on our energy and restricting our ability to manifest our potential.  Those that work with magick regularly put a lot of effort into psychic self defence as a basic requisite because of this.  But it equally applies to anyone who wants to move on from these kind of links.  It has a very healing effect too.

 

There's no getting away from the fact that no matter what you do to protect yourself, until the debt is dissolved/resolved that process carries on and can have a parasitic effect on your energy and reduce your own vibrations...making you ill perhaps or affecting your business...it can have very real implications. 

 

As a matter of course I use spells as way to maintain my energetic integrity and remain free of such restrictions.  A number of my clients (particularly in business) do the same because the more people you work with, the more chance you have of coming into contact with 'low vibey' people.  For myself, I can't afford for my own energy to be compromised otherwise I wouldn't be able to do my spellwork as effectively as I do...not send energy attunements each day.  It requires an amount of discipline as to lifestyle (which is fine by me because it keeps me well and happy!), but even I feel protection spells are not enough; unless Karmic debt is resolved, the drain still exists. 

 

So when it comes to would you offer a God of Death, a life or a death in redress...suddenly it seems a relief that the Universe naturally deals with these things!  That Karma is a fundamental, implacable and indiscriminate  natural law of cause and effect.   And magick can be used without having to make decisions about who is right, who is wrong or divining the source of an issue and the results are far reaching and long lasting because they are always working WITH Universal Law and not attempting to subvert it.

 

21st June 2012: Had a great dance class...and now am going to settle down to watch The Merchant of Venice with a double hot chocolate.

 

I LOVE this weather.  It's so 'Wild Hunt' I find the sound of the wind so inspirational!  Not good for photoshoots en pointe though...it's bizarre - the weather's been so changeable this year.

 

I got a new Nokia phone today...the Lumia. I absolutely hated it!  The windows OS is awful in my opinion...I am back to the E5 for now but suspect I will upgrade to something other than a Nokia...but I'll bide my time and do a bit of research this time!  But in rather better news, feedback from those involved in the current Killing Moon spell are having some spectacular results already - it's very intense and I wonder if it has anything to do with it being at the solstice...the spell is based around feminine and lunar currents but some of the elements involved in the actual technique would be associated with solar currents...it will be interesting to see how the sun affects it or whether it is just a coincidence.

 

 

21st June 2012 : Busy busy busy! Did the website updates and newsletter for Mayastar and Maya Magickal offers for the Solstice!  It's a bumper crop of special offers for newsletter subscribers...with an extra working of the Killing Moon Karmic Reversal 30 Day Intensive too!  I've organised myself so I will do a working of the spell morning and evening so there will be additional spaces and also a discount available for newsletter subscribers too! Double double bonus!!

 

After attunements this evening Remy Noe came over with the most amazing paintings!  Really really amazing work.  I love them so much.  They've been ceremonially hung by the bed to dominate my bohemian working area!  Absolutely gorgeous...they suit my room so amazingly well.  And we had a good discussion about the New Pre Raphaelite Movement and how my work as a muse/model will define the genre further as I work with more artists and photographic artists...and also the need for absolute honesty & integrity in art.  Me and Remy are definitely of a mind! :D  So it was a wonderful evening.

 

Then I watched Manon - one of my fave ballets (I love the choreography and costumes in the version I have...some of the most exquisite pointework I've ever seen...very inspirational).  And settled down to do my emails and get all things up to date for the day because tomorrow evening will be a busy one (zumba and ballet night).  And...well...you know how it is...you end up browsing the net while you work!  And I couldn't help myself!  I just bought the most gorgeous and original design by Alina Ionescu!

 

She makes real 'fashion as art', Harajuku/lolita/gypsy/steampunk inspired designs and this dress will be the biggest piece I have bought from her (I am the proud and delighted owner of a number of bustles, shrugs, jabots, collars, shawls...and a gorgeous gorgeous skirt by her!) and it is SOOOOOO AMAZING!  I can't wait to get it and can't wait to model Alina's work...I have enough for two photoshoots I'm sure but I love her work so much I want to save it to model in the perfect places!

 

20th June 2012: About to finish off my admin ready for tomorrow's newsletter and website updates.

 

Had a fabulous zumba and ballet lesson...as soon as I have time I must sort out my other shoes.  I had a run in with more miracles of Alina Ionescu on Etsy...and Jojo from Wildskin too...and Monika of Hypericumfragile...I will be well sorted for accessories, corsets and clothes for the shoot with Mark Perry.  I've seen the location - it's totally amazing and my mind's going overtime. 

 

I totally can't decide what sort of scheme to go for...I have some amazing bustles from Alina I'm dying to model...but...I guess first of all I need to decide what colours...or even range of colours.  I have some gorgeous pastel greens that have teastained to a sort of sage colour and go with a number of different bustles and camis in different lengths that might be something to try...subtle colours.  But I can't wait.

 

 

 

I suppose I'd better get a wriggle on and get this work up to date...I am dying to chill out, eat a tin of tuna for dinner (I'm too lazy to cook...and now it's too late to eat...being nocturnal and all!), and read my book. 

 

Ooh heck. I'd better keep to my routine as Remy's coming over tonight with a painting for me - it's amazing - I can't wait.  So excited! X

 

 

18th June 2012: About to hit the bubble bath and read my kindle...still on the Shaman's Crossing Trilogy and it's getting pretty intense now! LOVE LOVE LOVE reading!

 

I have embedded below a copy of my current fave song...Taylor Swift...Better Than Revenge :D  Totally rockin' live version too!

 

It has some fantastic lines!...and I quote...

 

 

"She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling
And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things

But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down it gets you where you wanna go
They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
...


I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but haven't you heard
I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but I always get the last word
...


She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
'Cause I don't think you do.

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
I don't think you do
I don't think you do"

 

 

 

16th June 2012: Mother nature has delivered my monthly gift earlier than expected; the start of the June working for the Killing Moon Spell will be tonight...the opening ritual will be late at night though as, as usual, my sleep is affected by my monthly cycle...I never can sleep well on days leading up...this month I have but today...it eludes me!

 

I am choc full of creative energy and really having soooo many ideas.

 

Maniac wants to do another shoot this week and hopefully a location one...he's a v thoughful photographer; helping me sort out little tools to make posing on location less dangerous and more variable for me...and I have the shoes that should help too.  I am very excited to begin.  I have so much I want to model...

 

Amazing silks and lace from Ophelia's Folly

Bustles and cuffs from Wildskin...

Original gypsy steampunk and harajuku inspired designs by Alina Ionescu...

Spats from Fait Avec...

Cuffs from Folk Accessories...

A made to measure steampunk style coat from Fogg Couture...

Circlets by Beasley's Wonders..

New Pre-Raph Romantiqua Couture style skirts by Fantasia...

 

I have so much to model...and am keen to sort out more shoots with Maniac and also with Mark Perry and sitting with an artist I am hoping to do a long term project with two...and I am soooooooooooooo excited about developing some designs of my own from Romantiqua Couture too...there simply aren't enough hours in the day sometimes for my boho lifestyle...get up...meditate and send attunements...eat...dance/workout...do my business work...organise details for shoots and sketch designs....do magickal work...do admin work...do SOMETHING creative...and generally end my day with the morning attunement session followed by the Killing Moon working...or a photoshoot if anything's scheduled and the weather bears out.

 

I have to say...I love my life...I really do.  The creative work, teaching, magickal work, psychic readings, writing (personal and for Mayastar), sending attunements, meditation and prayer, dance...it is fulfilling on a fundamental level for me and always, always exciting!

 

16th June 2012: Just finished my work for last night :s  Listening to Fiona Apple and wearing my new Grishko Novas as I work as I want to see how much the width changes with wear - it was so noticeably bigger on my 2007s once they broken in that I realised I should have gone for a narrower fitting because I end up wearing extra gel to get a good fit around the demi pointe in them now.  Not ideal.  These are narrower...and if they didn't stretch or get too flexible at the demi pointe I think they'd be fine but I suspect I will need to go down a width or two for a better fitting.  I think maybe Grishkos should feel tight rather than snug when you first get them.  It's a learning curve...but at least any shoes I get that are a little too snug or a little too wide for dancing will be ok for modelling in so I won't be wasting money checking out the different shoes.

 

I must say...I am surprised by the Novas in as much as though they are less tapered and the platform is wider than on the 2007s, they don't feel noticeably less tapered...I feel like my foot sits further forward in the shoe actually - either that or they are very slightly shorter in length...I may have to get some 2007s in a narrow width so I can check the shape more accurately as these may just feel no different because the 2007s I have are too wide. It would be great to get a fitting where I'd only need a toe pad and gel on my 2nd toe (Greek foot)...but to find out if a shoe fits that well you really need to wear it until it's broken in first.  Hmmm...more boring pointe talk huh!? LOL

 

In other news the burgundy bustle came out reasonably well...though I am not exactly happy with the template.  I've measured up some new ones to create a layered effect...and as soon as I have them sorted, I will switch from the cheap fabrics to making them with silk.  It was a weird day...I was sat in my room sewing and looked up at a silk bustle I have and thought how much better it looked than the taffeta one because of the way silk diffuses like by reflecting it in a non uniform way...and suddenly I noticed for the first time, how horrible the glossy polyester satin ribbon used on the waist band was compared to the silk and thought 'what a shame someone would make a bustle out of a gorgeous, but pricey, high quality fabric, and then decorate it with cheap polyester lace and ribbon'...suddenly it seemed like someone patching their jeans with a piece of organza...you'd never say 'that organza's too fancy for the denim and doesn't match', you'd say 'that cheap organza's ruined those jeans'.  So I resolved once I switched from the cheap fabrics I would avoid that...and would endeavour to work with natural fabrics with natural textures and natural light reflection as much as possible because they would be much more in-keeping with the overall theme and PRB philosophy and be much more attuned to the Romantiqua Couture look...I was pretty excited by this new concept and the possibilities for creating more natural and interesting trims and decorations to enhance the quality of the silk base because now I see the lace as being a bit of compromise in quality on the bustles I have. 

 

It's weird how when you notice it, you can't seem to overlook it though!  Especially when you can get silk or cotton lace and the only reason I can see someone getting the cheap polyester stuff is because it's cheaper and easier to source...but that's why it seems such a compromise...in a way it's choosing to diminish the overall quality of the item by scrimping on the detail and that's not a good thing...if you're going to make quality then surely focusing on quality throughout the whole process...from the design, sewing, materials etc...right through to the customer service and attention to detail in all aspects. 

 

Maybe that's just the way I run my own businesses making me consider the way other people run theirs and seeing how I would do things differently to some of them.  Some people invite their negative reputation and bad press and blame it on their competition, their own problems...even their customers...but never look at what they are doing wrong.  I suppose that's the nature of capitalism - a tendency to create business in a way where others are seen as competitors and you look after your own interests as elevated above others.  Not the way I do things that's for sure.  Not a philosophy I would advocate!

 

12th June 2012: Relaxing...doing my work now and listening to Skeeter Davis.  When my admin's all up to date I guess I'll pull my finger out and start sewing the elastics on my Grishkos for the next shoot.  Maniac's keen...but the weather's so poopie...I really wanted to do another location shoot but it may not be possible so I'll put some thought into creating a set and trying to keep it dark and natural looking.  I definitely want to move away from the almost clinical feel of studio sets...it just really doesn't go with the kind of contrast there should be...in pre-raph art there is always that contrast with oppressive and heavy backdrops reflecting the dark or intense themes of the work...with the model...depicted naturally but natural to the point of expressing the inherent purity in wildness and fundamental truths...well...that's my take on it and what I endeavour to create as a muse.  I am hoping that creating my own clothes will enable me to further reflect those qualities even more.  Always a work in progress I guess...but I have many ideas...to the point I'm even dreaming about them...

 

I got some bustles and cuffs I ordered from Jojo at Wildskin today...they're fabulous...but definitely deserve modelling OUTSIDE!!! When will it stop bloody raining? Hmmm.  I'll have to work something out because I can't spend all summer missing shoots because of the weather...and I'm so pleased with Maniac's work outside and the fact we didn't have to lug around a ton of equipment...I really want to do more work that way...it's so simple and organic and natural.  And many of the best effects may have been happy accidents...but they were still happy!  I'll text him in the morning...see what's the what X

 

 

9th June 2012: Phew - my sleep is back to my normal pattern!  I won't have to go to more routine hospital appointments now either.  It's an asper thing; regular routine appointments were part of assessment...but they really were disruptive because it doesn't matter what time the appointment is on paper, somehow they always end up being a 'day trip' and so you can't organise other things around it.  Now they have all their records up to date and I've no asper related problems so I can just get on with my life and if I need to go back to them for anything, go through my GP.  So I'm kind of 'signed off' from routine appointments now...that's a relief! :D

 

So as it was I got back knackered, had to cancel ballet - and then did a 3 hour lesson on Friday instead so Friday ended up full of magickal work in the evening and a few attunements early evening and dance in the afternoon...didn't fit my emails in.  But now all's well; slept during the day and now the admin is up to date in plenty of time.  I have a ritual tonight but it doesn't matter what time that one starts because it's one for myself anyway.

 

I got my sewing machine and fabric etc - so I think I'll spend half the night messing about with that! 

 

I have a torn calf...it's not a bad tear; I can work through it...but I'm posponing my shoot with Maniac until it's better as I don't want to risk it...which means this weekend will have more spare time than I usually get!

 

I got the Shrine dress from Amaryllis - I LOVE IT.  She modelled it and sold it and I bought it; it's gorgeous.  I was worried it wouldn't fit because it's a 6/8 and I'd think I'm more an 8/10 not depending on the garment but it's a perfect fit (Wolfie's also impressed - I knew he'd love it!). 

 

 

7th June 2012: Just got all the admin up to date for Mayastar and Maya Magickal :D  I am sooooo not used to being up during the day...I had hours to go before my appointment but somehow thought it wasn't enough time to get my work done...for no reason other than that usually I'd have been asleep I guess! Duh!

 

Anyway, chilling out, listening to Echo and the Bunnymen now and I think will read a bit.  Looking forward to some intense cardio and ballet later.  Hope I won't be too tired.  Don't think that can happen - don't think I can ever be too tired for ballet!

 

Bit frustrated by the weather because me and Maniac were going to do another shoot this weekend.  I guess we can do an indoor one but getting that oppressive, shady, intense Pre-Raph vibe in a studio setting will be more challenging...more luck than judgement I suspect.  I'm sure it will be fun anyway!

 

I can't wait to get started making bits and pieces to model...I will endeavour to make things that I can wear and not just model in but because I have the overall 'scene' in mind I am a bit worried I'll put stuff together like costumes in a creative frenzy.  My mum used to do work as a seamstress...I will definitely ask her for some advice but she'll probably tell me how to do everything properly...and I want to make sure I 'stay punk' and keep it creative.  I've seen other designers end up creating the same designs over and over again to the same pattern and churning out the same thing over and over again because they've lost the passion...or lost any creative impetus they had originally.  I don't think there's any fear of that happening to me because I'm not going to be creating 'fashion as art' for commercial reasons or to cater to the masses...so I will only be creating individual items...not mass producing items I can replicate again and again.  I most definitely wouldn't find that very fulfilling personally but I expect some people love sewing over designing and creating things.

 

I find Jojo of Wildskin and Alina Ionescu's designs really original and really inspirational.  I think if it wasn't for designers with that kind of passion, art and individuality, I wouldn't have felt drawn to create my own designs.  I used to make so many clothes for myself when I was a teen...and even made clothes and hats for a major part of my GCSE (I got an A of course!)...so I guess I must have been making my own things when I was about 15...maybe that's a punk thing though! :D

 

Anyway - I really can't wait to get my teeth into it.  I couldn't decide what to make first...I decided to start with a colour scheme and Wolfie said I should start with burgundy...so I immediately thought I would combine it with a stormy navy instead of black because black's so obvious...and the thought of the stormy navy made me think of Donnie Darko and the Echo and the Bunnymen song in the title sequence.  So my first creation will be THE KILLING MOON...it seems very apt because I'm working that ritual all the time and it was named after that song because I happened to be listening to it at the time I was finishing the writing.  And because the spell is worked and timed according to my own monthly cycle (my own 'moon cycle') and beginning with the 'deathing' phase of that cycle, it seemed an even more appropriate colour for a blood moon/moon blood spell! 

 

LOL - sorry to anyone who finds blood magick of that type distasteful but in my coven days I was part of a Women's Mysteries Occult group too and it's something we explored in ritual and something I continued with my own work after the temple disbanded.  The next ritual is the 18th June...I'll be completing one I'm working for myself at that time too.  A very thorough karmic culling.  It's a very effective cleansing working...and it snaps back karmic debtors to 'resolve' their own debts and 'square things flat' within the space of that month; it's pretty intensive...very powerful and definitely one of my best workings; even I think the writing for that ritual was particularly inspired!  If I do say so myself!

 

 

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